the majestic flapflaps…
Wait, are those breaching mantas?
no they are the majestic flapflaps
The kids in the back look so jealous that Jesus is with the other couple and not them
I love this
"you come here often?"
"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"
"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"
"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"
”are you an angel becau-”
”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.” Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”
Sup my cool teenage friends. I’m definitely not a cop. Would a cop dress as flippity fresh as me? I did not think so.
brb drowning myself in the toilet
But which end of the hotdog are you supposed to look through??
I work in a library and one time a woman came in and she wanted the sequel to the book she had just read, which she didnt know the title, author, or even the name of the sequel. All she had for me was ‘no I just read the blue one, I want the red one now’
I work at the Disney Store and I get asked on a weekly basis where our Nickelodeon section is.
WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT
YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT
"I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS" "oh hey sabrina."
I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.
I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve
Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know
the story of a man and his unlikely friend
He’s probably from Florida
Florida Man Befriends Trespassing But Friendly Orange