i tripped over a bra today
i think it was a booby trap
THE BEST USE OF THAT DAMN SCREENCAP EVER
"i dont know about you, but im feeling 22 officer so i dont think these underage drinking charges should really apply to me"
A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
"Dad, you don’t mean-"
"Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
"Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".
Miley Cyrus - Wrecking Ball (Chatroulette Version)
In Germany we don’t say “I don’t care” we say “Das ist mir Wurst” which roughly translates as “This is sausage to me” I think that’s beautiful.
no you don’t understand we actually do say that
i crashed my car into a bridge
THIS IS SAUSAGE TO ME
We also say “That’s not my beer” for “That’s none of my buisness” and I think that’s beautiful
is germany even real
Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif
and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this
Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years
Which one of you assholes brought this back
#i came in like a wrecking ball